Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Army Of Tiny Humans Invades the U.S.

Every year around this time an army of small warriors invades the United States. Like Starbucks (or Japanese tourists if you're outside the U.S.), they're everywhere you turn. At the supermarket. In front of Target. At the office. Outside our churches. At your birthday party. It's not Al Qaeda or some other foreign group. No, this army is from within. This photo, which my sister took recently, shows two of the tiny foot soldiers in attack formation:

That's right! It's Girl Scout cookie season again! They will hunt you down and they will capture you. The more aggressive variety will yell out to you when you try to enter a store. The more reserved will get your sympathy by their feigned shyness. Even if you do manage to avoid them, which is doubtful, this army is so clever that when its members are receiving tactical training at a Girl Scout meeting or perhaps even learning dogma at school, their parents are out in the offices, shops, and factories of America trying to get you to buy You can run but you can't hide.

Yes, this army can be very cute. And very convincing. After all, the cookies cost just $4 per box. And they are really yummy. And it's a fund raiser. How can you say no to this:

If this seems even a bit scary, you probably need some background. The Girl Scouts and their little-sister version the Brownies are girls youth groups that got their start in 1912 in Georgia (United States). The idea was to get girls out of the house to "develop mentally, physically, and socially" by doing things like playing sports, going camping, and doing community service. In other words, the founder wanted an army to sell her surplus cookies. (Just kidding about that last part. I think.) To help finance all the activities, the girls, with the help of their parents, started baking cookies to sell as early as 1917. The tradition continues to this day with eight varieties of cookies for sale during (roughly) the first quarter of the year. So much for New Year's resolutions.

All I can say is be very afraid. Resisting this tiny army is impossible. You will buy cookies and you will eat them and you will like them. Then you will buy more. And eat those too. After all, it's just one box...right?

By the way, if you'd like to buy some Girl Scout cookies, my niece, who's one of the girls in the top photo, can hook you up. Just let me know which is your poison. Thin Mints? Caramel Delites? Thanks-A-Lots? Or, better yet, one of each???

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