On The Value Of Time

I haven't been writing as much on this trip to Colombia. Mostly it's due to just not having as many adventures to write about. It's not that we've been lazy (well, maybe sometimes) but rather that we've had to be available for Diana's parents and their medical needs. What the trip lacks in the adventure department has been made up for ten times over by good, old-fashioned, family time (including having my dad come visit last month), which I wouldn't trade.

When we were in Germany and talking about going to Bogota, the decision for me was very easy. Of course we should go. It almost wasn't even a question that needed to be asked. Back about four years ago or so, when my mom was sick with cancer, I watched in awe at how my dad took care of her through it all. He made sure that she got to all her appointments, that she had taken all her meds, and, towards the end, even hand fed and bathed her. It was hard for him much of the time but mostly because he never felt like he was doing a good enough job. He did. More than anyone could have asked. It was inspirational.

My dad took care of my mom almost to her last day. It was only when she needed to be put on a morphine drip for her pain that her 24-hour care had to be done for a day or two at a hospice. Later, while thinking back on everything that my dad did for my mom, I committed to myself that if and when my dad ever needed someone to care for him like he cared for her, I'd be there in a minute to do it. Whatever the cost. So, when the "opportunity" came up for us to help out Diana's folks, like I said, there wasn't even a second thought. We could always go back afterward and pick up where we left off.

One of the things that I've learned, over and over again, in the last few years has been that family, friends, and time are all we got. Everything else, and, by that, every thing is replaceable and not really that important. I've learned that I would trade, and in some ways have traded, the "stuff" for more time. More time to learn. More time for experiences. More time to grow. More time to spend with those I care about. I guess that's what's important.

Two Years Of Where Is Darren Now

Two years ago today I was just south of Tel Aviv (Israel) writing the first post of this blog. I was there for the wedding of my friend Ruma's brother. Has it really been two years already??? Oh, what a trip it's been!

Let's review, shall we?

First, the easy stuff. The biggest change this year is, of course, that I got married to an amazing person. Diana has changed for the better how I view the world. She has a warm heart, a sharp mind, and absolutely no fear. I'm a better person for sure for knowing her. Thank you Diana for allowing me to be a part of your life. I'm definitely NOT perfect and I make waaaaay too many mistakes but you keep loving me anyway. I love you!

What else? Hmm...it all seems like a blur! Well, since starting this blog, I've written 260 stories including this one, which works out to about one every three days. I love that 49 (almost 20%) of them have been about food! To see some of the "best-of" stories from everything that I've written, check out this "7 Posts" story I wrote for a blog carnival. (Note that the posts that are the Most Popular and Most Successful have both changed since I've written it.) Regardless, I can't believe how much there is and how much I've enjoyed writing it all. The people I've met, the places I've been, and the things I've seen have been breath taking. They include stories about my visits to:

Israel

Egypt

Turkey

Peru

Spain

Canary Islands (okay, part of Spain, but still...)

France

Gibraltar

Japan

China

Tibet

Colombia

Germany

Italy

England

United States

People often ask me what my favorite place's been so far. It's a really hard question for me to answer because it depends on what you mean. For example, if you're talking in terms of overall culture or food, it's got to be Japan. If you're talking about the place that surprised me the most then it's Colombia. The place where YOU should go and you've never even thought about it then it's China. Best place to move to/live in/retire to would probably still be San Diego, Hawaii, Barcelona, or maybe Colombia, or maybe southern Mexico, or maybe Antigua in Guatemala. Argh! Too many good choices! See, it's difficult as they've all been my "favorites" in one way or another because I've met so many people and have learned so much in each place.

As I wrote while in Israel that day, "This blog is a place for me to record my experiences, memories, and what I've learned during my time traveling." So, what have I learned? The lessons that I've learned can be somewhat summed up in the following three ways:

1-Experiences are way better than stuff. I'd rather go to a new place, meet a new person, eat a new food, or so on than buy a "thing". Stuff "costs" so much in so many ways that I'm amazed at what I "spent" to maintain it for so long. I'm so much more content that the things that I need all fit into two suitcases and weigh around 100 pounds or so.

2-After that, it gets much "higher level". It's that the people around you are what's most important - family and friends - the people that you know and meet every day. If it wasn't for the people around me I don't know where I'd be.

3-Finally, the other lesson that is soooooo hard for me to actually incorporate into my life and brain is that I can't change what's happened, that I have to live in the present moment, and can only influence the future. I'm still working on this one every day and it's a tough one.

If you want to read more about why I originally left San Diego and what I've learned since, I recommend reading the story called "Done" that I wrote last summer. I think it's probably the best thing I've written and, for the most part, it's still very true for me today.

What's next? Diana and I are weighing our options. She's finishing up her PhD this semester and we'll be free to go and do what we want where we want. We're both looking for full-time gigs, and, if you've got any ideas and connections, we're open to hearing about them (hint, hint!). I know that for both of us we love living in Barcelona but the force (of family) is strong with these two (say it like Yoda). I guess we'll have to wait and see where life's path takes us.

I'd like to take a moment to thank all the people who have supported me on this journey. If you've: shared a meal with me, taught me about your life and/or your culture, talked with me, let me sleep at your place, invited me to a party, held my hand while I cried, played soccer with me, had a laugh with me, let your kids hang out with me, drank some wine with me, took a walk with me, or were just my friend, thank you! Without your love and support I would have never been able to make it this far. I'd also like to pause to remember those who are no longer with us. I miss you and still think about you each and every day.

Thanks once more for spending your time reading what I've been writing. I still hope that you enjoy reading it as much as I am living and writing it! What a wild ride!

Done

Over the past two days I've had three different people ask (or tell) me, in one way or another, how I've done what I've done (take off and travel long term) and/or that they wished they could do (or would have done) the same. Without thinking about it, I told them each a variation on the same theme, which I thought that I'd expand on a little here.

I continue to do a lot of reflection on what's happened and is happening in my life; the experiences, who I've met/known, and what I've learned and continue to learn. I've also been reading a ton, both in old-fashioned books on my Kindle as well as online, and have learned so much. All of it has added up over time resulting in an ever-changing view of the world. Where is Darren now? In such a different place than where I was when I started this blog.

Because you may not be familiar with my back story (up to mid-2008), here's the 40+ year summary in 22 words:

Grew up. Went to school. Started a relationship. Got the degree. Got the job. Got all the stuff. Chose a different path.

The results of that choice, both intended and not, are what would forever change me; the events that directly or indirectly resulted in who and where I am now.

At first, I didn't know what to do but I slowly realized that I wanted to leave San Diego for a while, see some of the world, and have the opportunity to reflect and learn more about myself. So, in December 2009, after losing, selling, or giving away almost everything that I've ever had, I left.

And I traveled, moved to a new country, met new people, and have been out living and learning. I learned very quickly that I didn't need much "stuff" and that I preferred having very few possessions. Once all the stuff was out of the way, everything was much easier to see; there was nothing to hide behind. I grew to appreciate that I have no control over the past and that I need to let it go and that I needed to live in the here-and-now. I also continued to learn that what I valued was my family and friends. They're what keep me wanting to be here--what make life worth living.

Recently I came across a blog by a guy named Derek K. Miller who was from Vancouver, Canada. Derek, who I never knew, was born a few months after me and, for all practical purposes, had a life not unlike mine--growing up, the career, the relationship, and the "required" stuff (in his case he had kids too). The big difference (so far) is that he developed cancer and recently died because of it. As part of his preparation for a death that he knew was coming, he wrote a blog post, which is almost perfect. I can't do it justice but in it he says how grateful he was for the life he led, how amazing the world is, how much he loved his family, and how he doesn't regret anything. You need to read it. Go ahead. (Please do it now, and then come back.)

Wow. Right?

When I was a kid I always said that I wanted to live each day like it was my last. To live a life where I would be content if I didn't wake up tomorrow. I kept that belief for a long time but life crept up on me and I lost touch with it. It snapped back into consciousness hard in January of 2009. The finality of it all. As my sister-in-law says, One Life One Chance. When we're dead, that's it. No more chances. No more hopes. No more dreams. No more opportunities to visit that friend...or to go to that place...or to read that book...or see your kid's soccer game...or to be that person you've always wanted to be...or [fill in the blank with what you've been putting off]... You're gone. And done. No, actually, just DONE.

I'm committed to live my life in a way that allows me to experience and learn the maximum each day. To live life like I might die tomorrow. I'm not living crazy or doing silly skydiving stunts or something. No. I'm just focused on taking advantage of what we have while we're alive. I've learned this both from people who I loved who are no longer here and continue to learn it from all the people who are still in my life.

For me, it originally took my world imploding for me to go out and travel long term but you have a choice. I'm not saying that in your case you should dump everything and travel the world. I guess what I am saying to you (and repeating to myself) is: Don't Wait. Realize that tomorrow is not guaranteed. One day you too will be done. Do those things. Be that person. Call that friend. Go to that place. Do it for yourself. Do it for those you love and who love you. Do it all and don't regret anything, but if you do, better to regret what you did than what you didn't. This is where I am now or, more accurately, this is Where Darren Is Now.

Where Is Darren Now - One Year Anniversary

One year ago today I was in Tel Aviv, Israel to attend the wedding of the brother of my good friend Ruma. It also was the first day I wrote a story for my new blog. The idea was then, as it is now, that my blog is a way for me to keep my family and friends up to date with what I'm doing and where I am. It's been a success on many levels. I've enjoyed the process of writing the stories more than I ever thought I would and I've also been repeatedly amazed when people say that, not only are they reading it, but that they are actually enjoying it.

So, what have I been up to this past year? (Yep...one year. As a friend recently wrote, "I can't believe you've pulled this off for a year now...then again, yes, I can!") I've been traveling pretty much non-stop and have been to so many places and experienced so much that I wanted to do a review for myself.

What I've done:

1. I lived in Barcelona, Osaka, the U.S., and Colombia.

2. In addition, I visited Israel, Egypt, Turkey, Peru, France, Gibraltar, Tibet, and China.

3. I've been to Africa, Europe, Asia, North America, and South America.

4. In terms of miles, I've flown around the planet at least twice and probably closer to three times.

5. Got sick for more than a day only once.

What I've seen so far. The list of what I've seen and done is waaaaaaay too long but includes some things like...

1. The old city of Jerusalem. If you're at all religious or are interested in history, this is the place to go.

2. The Great Pyramids. Crazy. Amazing. Truly a must-see.

3. Lots of Gaudi Masterpieces. He's a genius and you can see many of them in a couple of days in the amazing city of Barcelona.

4. The Nazca Lines. It seems like the other end of the earth but well worth the visit.

5. Lake Titicaca. All those jokes as kids made this one hit home. Also, people living on floating islands???

6. The Alhambra. An architectural wonder. If you can only see one thing in Spain, this is it.

7. A Formula1 race. One of three sports events on my to-do list. The other two? The Tour de France and The Dakar Rally.

8. A Barça match. It's important in the non-U.S. world.

9. The Picasso painting Guernica. You have to see it to understand.

10. The Canary Islands. Breathtaking scenery.

11. Wildwood, New Jersey. It was like going home again.

12. Oceanside, California. It still feels like home.

13. Kyoto and Nara. You can see old Japan in all its beauty.

14. Nagasaki. My favorite city in Japan.

15. Beijing. Old and new colliding every day.

16. The Great Wall. You went to China and didn't see it?

17. The Terracota Warriors. Obsession gone wild. In the same league as the Pyramids of Egypt.

18. Tibet. Exotic. Amazing sights. Amazing people.

19. Shanghai. The past, present, and future of China in one place.

20. Colombia. Coffee anyone?

And that's just the highlights. There's been a ton more.

More importantly, I set out last year to learn not just about the world but also about myself. At times, this part's resulted in happiness, sadness, frustration, and contentedness. But what I've learned is that, no matter what has happened or what's going to happen, I have very little control over it. I can't do anything about the past. I can only influence the future and maximize right now (this one single moment in time). When I was in my teens I always said to myself that I wanted to live each day like it's my last. I lost touch with that sentiment for a long time but I've had the opportunity this year to really return to that way of thinking and live that way. Each day I try very hard to make sure that, if I die tonight, I'm satisfied with what I've done, what I've learned, and who I am.

Also, family and friends matter a lot. They're always there for you. I'll take this moment to say thanks to my family, to all my old friends, and to all my new friends. Thanks for making this last year as well as my entire life worth living.

What's next? I've been giving this lots of thought lately. I've got a bunch of ideas floating around with a few really rising to the top recently. We'll have to wait and see but I'll be sure to post about it.

Among my favorite stories so far:

1. 100th Post

2. Cup Noodles (Osaka)

3. A tie between Teaching English In Tibet and Learning How To Cross The Street: Cairo Style (not well written but it was a fun day).

4. Pretty much any story about food.

What about you? Could you sell almost everything you own, pack your bags, and go out and see the world? I know....

No money. It's a lot cheaper than you think. If you had all the money in the world, what would you do? Go sit on a beach? Guess how much it costs to sit on a beach.

No time. You probably hate your job. Quit. Travel for a while. With your new-found view of life and the world, go back and get a new job you'll like.

Kids. Take them with you. They'll get as much or more out of it than you will.

Probably 1,000,000 other possible reasons. I have to be honest, if it wasn't for a series of really bad events, I wouldn't have done it either. Now that I know, I wish I could get everyone to try it. The truth is that you probably need your world to fall apart for you to really question it. At least think about spending some time doing some long-term (more than a couple of weeks) traveling. I'll share what I've learned with you so that you can do it as inexpensively as possible.

Thanks again for taking the time to read my blog. As I said in the beginning, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy living it and writing about it.

100th Post - Some Thoughts

Nine months. 100 posts. Roughly one post every two-and-a-half days. Wow! When I did my first one back on January 12th of this year, I didn't know what to expect or how long it would last. I can't believe what a trip it's been!

As some know, I set out about one year ago to learn everything I could about myself and the world. What started about a year and a half ago with the two worst days of my life has ended up being a life-changing experience beyond what I thought even possible. First off let me say that, if I could give it all back to change the outcome of those days I would. Since I accept that I can't, all I can do is move forward and make sure to live each day like it's my last.

For most that are reading my blog (all three of you), the most visible thing has been all the traveling that I've done this past year. Let's review for fun... Since October of last year, I've been to:

-Hawaii (at my favorite hotel in the whole world - The Royal Hawaiian!)
-Philadelphia (three times)
-Mexico (for Day of the Dead in Merida where I lived for a time in the mid 90s)
-Japan (three times)
-Israel
-Egypt
-Turkey
-Peru
-Spain (pretty much the whole country)

-The Canary Islands (okay, part of Spain but oh-so-cool!)

-Gibraltar
-France

Yes. It's a lot of flight time and miles. My estimate is that I've been on 53 flights in the last 11 months! In fact, I've been to five continents (and Hawaii) this year and have completely flown around the globe since June (Osaka -> Istanbul -> Barcelona -> Lisbon -> Philadelphia -> San Diego -> San Francisco -> Osaka). Can you guess how many miles in a year? I was surprised. Yeah for tickets with miles!

A little over a year ago, a friend at the time challenged me to live for one year without an address. What's actually happened is that I've ended up living in four places (you should see my amazon.com address list):

-San Diego
-Philadelphia
-Barcelona (!!!)
-Osaka (!!!)

So, what have I taken away from all of this? First off, my friends and family are amazing. Thank you to everyone that's opened up your heart and/or home to me this past year-and-a-half. You are what makes life worth living. Everything else is a bonus.

Next, experiences are far better things to have than stuff. Last year, I got rid of probably 80% of what I owned and it was amazing. (I still do have some things in San Diego.) In the first seven months of this year, apart from food and travel expenses, I bought three T-shirts and a new pair of running shoes. I'm amazed at what I used to spend to buy and maintain things. In this area the most important thing I've learned is that you'll have so much more money and freedom (time) if you can stop buying "stuff". Work to live and spend the money on experiences that last a lifetime.

Last, probably the thing that's most changed who I am and how I see the world is that I've learned that I need to let go of the past (I can't change it), not worry about the future (I can only influence it), and live/enjoy "now" - in this exact moment (it's really all we have). It's deceivingly simple but truly life changing. (For a very sappy and overly spiritual version you can read this. My advice: wade through the fluffy crap and stick to the big picture.)

And no, even though I know I will need to return to "normal" life one day, I'm not done this journey yet. "Normal" life won't ever look like it did before, I'll never stop growing and learning, and I still want to see the rest of the world. Wanna' meet me somewhere?

Let me close my 100th post by saying, once again, that I know that I'm very lucky to get the chance to have the experiences of the past year. The people I've met, the things I've done and seen, and the places I've gone have hopefully made me a better person. My friend Jim told me that I've made lemonade from lemons. I like to think that's true.

Thank you so much to everyone. Muchas gracias a todos. どうもありがとうございます。

Six Weeks - Three Weeks - A Whole New World

It's been just over six weeks since I left California and three weeks since I left Philadelphia (and the U.S.). Wow--what a trip it's been!

Hmmm... What do I miss? As always, people are the first thing on the list. My family. My friends in California and Philadelphia. Second? Probably the food. Mexican from CA and the variety of pork products in PA. Oh yeah, pretzels and butter cake are in there too. Next, definitely driving the MINI! Oh I miss that crazy little car--the one I hate to love. After that, probably the weather in San Diego. You honestly can't beat it anywhere in the world (as far as I know).

So what am I grateful for here in Spain? The people (funny how that's always first). I've met some amazing, kind, and generous people during my short time in Barcelona. I've gotten invites to birthday parties, lunches/dinners, the next Formula1 race, a Barça (Barcelona's team) soccer game, a bull fight, and various other things. I'm amazed at how willing people have been to help me get adjusted and fit in. I am super indebted and eternally grateful!

Next? The opportunity to start fresh in a new place. I've learned over time that no matter where I go I'm still the same person but there's something nice about arriving in a new place with no baggage. "Learning the ropes" as they say has been great. Figuring out the bus and subways; where to buy stuff; where the good places are to eat; it's an amazing thing that I have. Once again, life's pretty good.

Remember that Ferris Bueller quote--"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it"? Well, I wouldn't have guessed that I'd be here, at this point, in this place, if you'd have asked me two months ago. I can't wait to see what the world holds for me in another two months, two years, and/or two decades. Until then, I'll continue to live life to the fullest, stop to look around regularly, and to be exceedingly grateful for the opportunity that I have.

What's Next?

It's been a while since I've written something for whereisdarrennow and wanted to get back into the swing of things so here's a little bit of an update...

If you're friends with me on facebook, you've seen how I didn't get to go to Japan after all. I was bummed to say the least as I really was looking forward to experiencing an extended amount of time in such a great place as well as with the friends I have there but it just didn't work out. Hopefully I'll get back there in the future. I'll continue working on learning Japanese in hopes that I will have that chance.

As you may have also seen, I was in Philadelphia for three weeks with my family. I got to spend a lot of quality time hanging out and talking with my dad, which was fun and valuable. I visited with some great old friends and made some amazing new ones. I spent time with my brother and sister and their families. I went to the zoo. I got coffee at Wawa. I tried some new (to me) restaurants. I put over 800 miles on the rental car. I ate water ice and pretzels. Most of all, I got some valuable "me time" reflecting and making new plans.

Where is Darren now? Pues...I'm writing this entry from my new home in Barcelona, España. The timing worked out well that some newish friends that I met had a room open up in their apartment so I jumped at the chance and took it. David and Diana (see below) are great people; they're super clean, fantastic cooks, and they seem to actually like me...so I'll be here for the foreseeable future and will be using it as a base to travel around Europe for a bit. Life's still pretty good, in other words.


So, what about the blog? I started whereisdarrennow as a way to share my travel experiences and what I'm learning while doing it. During a discussion about what to do with my blog, one of my super-so-smart-PhD.-candidate roomies suggested that the name lent itself well to not only physically where I am but also where I am as a person. With that in mind, I'll continue to write about the places I go and the experiences I have but am planning to post some "historical" stories about places I went in the past as well as some stories about "where" I am now. Don't worry though...I don't plan on this becoming some sort of online, self-reflection diary! :-)

I hope you enjoy reading the new-and-improved version of whereisdarrennow. I know that I'll continue to enjoying living it as well as writing about it. Who would have known that I'd actually enjoy writing???

2700 Miles

I spent the last few days in my beloved Oceanside California with my great friends Chuck and Gail. Last night we went to happy hour at the Oceanside Harbor with Gail's dad, mom-in-law, and Chuck's daughter Christy. It was very nice drinking cheap happy-hour drinks, eating the local deep-fried specialties, and hanging outside watching the seals swim by. The weather was an almost-perfect 62 degrees and sunny.

Here are the happy campers just before sunset and a couple of drinks in:


I left via Carlsbad airport about an hour or so later and headed to Philadelphia to play my semi-annual role as the prodigal son. Each time I come back and enter the room for the first time, my sister yells out "kill the fatted calf, the prodigal son has returned". It's a role that I enjoy playing over and over. It never really gets old being the center of attention, does it?

The weather is a little different 2700 miles away from Oceanside. As I write this, it's currently 39 degrees, overcast with some light showers, and there's some snow left over from a past storm. Needless to say, I'm guessing that all the drinking's going to take place indoors...

Here's a shot down the street that my dad lives on:

Oh yeah, to the doubts of a certain Philadelphia-area-based friend, I will continue the travel blog while visiting the City of Brotherly Love. I do believe there are quite a bit of cool things that I can write about. If you have any ideas, drop me a line.

Welcome To "Where Is Darren Now?"

Welcome to "Where Is Darren Now?".

As you may know, I've gotten a chance to do something that most people won't ever get to do. I'm going out to see some more of this big-ol' world of ours. This blog is a place for me to record my experiences, memories, and what I've learned during my time traveling.

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I am experiencing it. Thanks for visiting.

Darren